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#5 - BurningSorrow

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November 2nd, 2010


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12:37 am - #5
Have you ever felt alone? Felt like you have no where else to go? Where you cant talk to anyone cuz you will feel judged and hated for what has happened to you? That you are so fucked up that you cant have any one love you? That you wish you had some one just one person to talk to about everything eating away at you? Some one you can trust to love you for who you are and not focus on the past? and what has happened? I feel like this all the time. I feel like i have no where else to go and that i have no one to talk to. I feel judged and hated everywhere i go. I feel so fucked up and lost in this life. I feel like no one can love me no one i can talk to or go to when i feel like there is nothing left in my life. Like i have nothing in my life to live for like i am wasting everyones time. I have felt like this for so long. That me being alone all the time with no one and nothing was the only way to go. To put on a fake smile and act like nothing is wrong and that my life is amazing. I am sick of that  fake feelings i have to protray around ppl. everyone i know. Knows nothing about me. They only know what they want to know. But then i met some amazing people. They have changed my life for the best and they are most amazing people in the world. I dont feel alone with them anymore. When i am with them they understand with out words. You can see their acceptance in their eyes. You know that they are there for you no matter what happens. They give me that place to go. They give me that place where i feel safe and that i okay to be there and like i am burden on them. They are there for me to talk to. They will listen to me. They dont judge me and the care about what happens to me. They dont focus on the past and what has happened. They are just grateful that i am able to be in their lives. They understand that i am fucked up and they accept it, because they are just as fucked. They love me for who i am and i can trust them with everything i am. I know they will not go out and tell the world. I can talk to them about everything no matter what it is. Anything from feels to pregnancy to death to hurt to everything you can imagine. They are my true family. My best and true friends. I am so happy that i have met these people. They may not even know it but they have saved my life in the last couple of weeks more then anything. I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I love them to death. I would do anything in the world for them ANYTHING! and they know it. Maybe not fully but they know it. If they need anything they can call me anytime and i will be there for them in a heart beat. I feel i can do the same. I want to thank Corey Smith and Cait Robson. They are truely my best friends. And i am so proud to say i know you. I love you guys. Thank you so much.

xoxoxox Echo Jordan McFeeters <3

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